Cambodia Project
Send Rice ... Send Love
OCTOBER 29, 2009
Hello everyone. I'm sorry it has taken so long to update our site. Since Yoen is no longer our liason it is a little more difficult to get someone to send photos and do Skype visits.
Apparently Soporn is thriving in her new home and school. Dara emailed me to say that Soporn is very happy and considers herself one of his family. Initially her uncle would visit on the days we paid rent. I think once he realized the money was only for Soporn's expenses he stopped visiting. This was upsetting to me. I just had a long talk with Charlie Dittmeier from the DDP School. He explained to me that a child such as Soporn can be very exhausting to a family not only for financial reasons but also because most Cambodians have no education. When the Khmer Rouge devastated Cambodia in the 70s the country never recovered from losing its infrastructure as well as any type of educational system it previously had. It was only in 1992 that the world took notice and began trying to help. These people do not know what deafness is. All they know is this kid does not talk. Why? Maybe think she is defiant. Whether they realize it's because she cannot hear is uncertain. The whole dynamic is different from what we know. They tell her something and she does not respond. Are they getting upset because they think they are being ingnored? Is that why she is punished? I am learning that in Cambodia quite often things are not as they seem.
I don't believe Soporn has ever gone back to her village to visit. I feel as though her life up until now must have been awful and God brought us to Cambodia to help her. I am always trying to fill in the blanks as to what it must be like to be a handicapped orphan in a third world country where many times it is clearly "survival of the fittest." I'm not sure I will ever understand. What I can say is that the more I understand the less upset I become with her birth family and how they treated her. I told Charlie that when we were there I asked an aunt if she thought Soporn would like to go to school. Her response was to grab Soporn's hair and uncover her deformed ear which she had kept carefully hidden. At that point Soporn burst into tears from embarrassment. As Charlie pointed out it may have been the aunt thinking I'm nuts for suggesting such a stupid question as opposed to her purposely hurting Soporn.
Okay now lets think about Soporn's decision to take us up on our offer to attend school. Charlie told me that these deaf kids have never even been able to talk to their parents. They live a very isolated life left to figure things out for themselves especially if they have no parents. In short they are survivors. Many are resigned to being field hands. How brave she must have been to leave her village and attend school. Did she know where she was going? Did she know she was going to live away from home? Did she know it would be 2 1/2 hours from home? Did she think she would not be able to participate in school as in past school experiences but wanted to try yet again? Did she have any idea how to live in the city? Did she know she would be left with a family she had never met before? Live with other students she did not know? Given all that, she still went with the aunt and uncle to Phnom Penh and was left there with Dara and Sopha. How brave she is!
Once school begins it takes these kids 2-3 weeks to understand that the other students at the school cannot speak. Up until this point most had never met another deaf person and probably thought they were the only one. They are so used to being in a crowd where everyone else's mouths are moving except theirs. This is what they expect from school. Once they realize that they are the same it's as if a light bulb goes off. Charlie explained this is a wonderful thing to witness and that the school does some initial intensive language education so that the kids can at least have the basics to communicate. For the first time in 20+ years these kids can make friends with others who are like them. At this point they are functioning at an adolescence level of a 14-15 yr old.
Cambodia just celebrated Bonn Pchum Ben on September 18-20. The Pchum Ben holiday creates a sense of spiritual reverence and holiday excitement throughout the country. Along with the Khmer New Year and the Water Festival, Pchum Benh is one of the most important Khmer holidays of the year. It is a holiday to honor and care for the spirits of ancestors, said to return to earth during this period. People travel to pagodas to make offerings of food, incense and money to help ease spirits’ burden. This is an exciting and colorful time at the pagodas. All government offices and many businesses close for the holiday much like our Christmas holiday.
There are some interesting articles you might like to read that explain the meaning of this holiday with respect to the many people who lost their lives to the Khmer Rouge in the 70s. Please visit:
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Below is Dara's email:
Dear Julie,
Sorry that I make you not hear from me so long time. I strongly hope that everything is good with you and your family. My family and Sophorn are doing well.
Actually, during Phchhum Benn Buddhist festival Sophorn didn't go to visit her home and she told me that she didn't want. However, my family took her to Pagoda to bring food and others to offer the monks and I also told her about various activities that Cambodian Buddhist have to do during the festival.
So far, Sophorn is better than before. She have known lots of morality, decency and how to prepare herself to be socialized person. We can say that she is a new person whom we all are unbelievable she can change her character.
Other thing, she regards my wife, children and I as her parents and siblings.
At 5:00 AM every morning, after she gets up, she prepares herself and has breakfast before she goes to school. I also explain her about decency, morality and body-clean and human's value knowing.
About her study has not been well yet because there are some points she can not catch clearly. Sometimes, she can understand them but she was easy to forget.
These she always has toothach but I gave her some medicine to take. If this problem become serious and we need to treat, I will take her to dentist clinic. She always eat poride every morning. Please don't worry about this. I will help her until she can have a better life.
Her uncle (Lek Nol) never visits her and he doesn't make a phone.
Oh! Sophorn wants to know how well you and her sister are?
I send you all my best wish
Dara
Dara is a wonderful man who I am looking forward to meeting when we go back for a visit. Another wonderful person is Charlie Dittmeier, director of the Deaf Development School. These are a few pictures he sent of Soporn at the Deaf Day Celebration. You can see more pictures and fun stories at Charlie's home page by viewing the link below.
PLEASE CONSIDER MAKING A DONATION THIS HOLIDAY SEASON. NO AMOUNT IS TOO SMALL. EVERY PENNY IS VERY MUCH APPRECIATED. MANY THANKS TO YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT.
